Long, crustless hypotenuses

26 Jun 2023

Branstonnaise is a new one on me: I’ve just discovered the third high-entropy food product to feature on this blog. It has prompted me to share a recipe for a sandwich. Ultimate Cheese is its name, and Sarah invented it while we lived in New Zealand. It doesn’t contain Branston pickle, but it does contain mayonnaise and another brown, tasty sandwich sauce.

Note: the recipe is opinionated re: bread colour and cheese form (sliced over grated). Experiment at will!

Ultimate Cheese™️ sandwich

Makes 1


  • Brown bread x2 slices
  • Margarine
  • Mayonnaise
  • Marmite
  • Tomatoes, sliced
  • Cheese, sliced - cheddar or Red Leicester suggested


  • Spread margarine on bread
  • Spread mayo on one bit of bread, thinly spread marmite on the other
  • Layer cheese on top of either
  • Layer tomatoes on top of cheese
  • It’s a sandwich

Slice on the diagonal. Always slice on the diagonal, it tastes better. I think it looks more appealing and the first bite always has an edge without crust. Aaaand…. a bit of internet research and confirmation bias later, I discover I’m not the only one who likes a long, crustless hypotenuse.

Tags: geeky, personal, recipe, food, cheese